I am honored to have been asked to share a part of my story. My story has a very sad history starting from the beginning, but I won’t go as far back as my childhood. It is so easy for me to say that what happened to me then is why I have done what I have done within the last 10 years. But the truth is, in the end, it was always my choice, my actions and I have no right to place the blame on anyone else, no matter what kind of upbringing I had.
There are so many people in our world who have no idea what God’s intentions are for them when it comes to their sexuality. We are surrounded by the media, by society, even by friends & family who tell us it’s ok to do what feels good right then and there. They tell us it’s normal, it’s natural and it’s healthy to fulfill our desires in that moment. But the truth is, it’s not.
From my inbox, an email from a high school student named Jeremy:
“Dear Matt, first I want to say I really like your blog. One of my teachers actually mentioned it in class once after you wrote something (she didn’t mention it in a good way lol) and I went and looked you up so I’ve been following you ever since. I know you get so much email so I don’t expect you to see this but in case you do I wanted to get your opinion about something. You write a lot about relationships and everything so I’m wondering if you think abstinence should be encouraged in school?
Reason I’m asking is because we are doing our sex ed lessons in health class now and the topic has come up. Yesterday my health teacher was talking about safe sex and someone mentioned abstinence and she said it wasn’t realistic. She said it was an out dated way of thinking and the people who push for it are out of touch because they were probably kids a long time ago. She said sometimes sex can be more casual and isn’t always a part of something serious. Then she asked how many people in the class are sexually active because she said it was important for people not to be ashamed. Almost all the guys in class raised their hands but I didn’t. They were all talking about how sex doesn’t have to be something for marriage or long term relationships. I always wanted to wait for marriage and I hope it’s not weird for me to say that. They said in class that we should be more accepting of sexual expression that doesn’t conform to older ideas. But I still always wanted to wait for marriage. But at this point I feel like an outcast or something.
I read something you wrote about dating once and it seemed like you were saying that people should wait for marriage [to have sex]. What do you think about what my teacher said? Am I weird for not really wanting to go out and hook up with girls and stuff and instead wait for marriage?”